by Aisling S.
And then I realised
In that moment,
It hit me like a high speed train,
It all became real,
The months and years of misery, both anorexia and recovery,
They all became real.
This light people had been talking about, in this never ending tunnel,
I finally saw it,
I finally felt it,
In that moment it hit.
For the first time in years,
It was that simple,
But nothing in an eating disorder is simple,
The years of misery of tears of loneliness,
It all felt like it was history,
I finally laughed,
A real laugh,
I looked around, and I was surrounded by people,
And not in the way I had been for,
This time I finally felt a connection to people,
I was engaged in the conversation
And I laughed.
That’s when it hit me,
This is what it was all for,
It wasn’t for anyone else,
It wasn’t to make people proud,
It wasn’t for the after photo,
It was to be happy,
A happiness I never thought would come,
It was a laugh.
The first of many…