by Madame Thursday
Note: This post originally appeared on Madame Thursday and has been cross-posted with permission.
One thing that really sucks when you’re fat is dealing with people who genuinely think they’re standing up for you or helping you but are actually doing the opposite.
I’m not talking about concern trolls. I’m talking about people who think they’re doing you a favor by saying things like: “oh, they can’t help it, it’s not their fault”.
The problem is that you’re STILL working off the premise that fat bodies are bad bodies that somebody needs to be blamed for. You’re not disagreeing that our bodies are bad, just on how best to carve them down to size and stop them from happening at all.
It doesn’t matter if I can or can’t “help” my body size. I shouldn’t have to change my weight for anyone. My weight is not a disease. My body is not an epidemic. I am not a public health hazard.
I’m a human being who’s body has a lot of adipose tissue. If the words “human being” don’t change how you think about that adipose tissue, you’re not my friend.
The issue here is whether I deserve punishment and scorn if I have more than a certain amount of adipose tissue.*
Being fixated on who or what is responsible for that adipose tissue is only relevant if you feel that I don’t deserve to have it, that I’m only allowed so much before my body needs to be sculpted back into something worthwhile by wiser hands because obviously I can’t be trusted with my own body.
I have the right to be fat. Fat bodies are worthwhile. Even if they’re inconvenient, even if they’re unattractive, even if they’re unhealthy. Convenience, prettiness, and temporary health status don’t trump fat people’s humanity or their right to have their own bodies.
If you can’t get to a point where you stop caring how I came to be fat because you stop viewing my fatness as a blight, then you’re only ever going to be harmful to me. No matter how kind you think you’re being.
*Technically it isn’t the amount of adipose tissue, but the size of the cells that’s at issue. Just to be more accurate about it.