Location: Colorado, USA
Ethnicity/Nationality/Religion: Spiritual Buddhist, who believes in a Universal energy that is present in all, it is The Divine.
I’m a college student studying to become a Physical Therapist. I enjoy the outdoors as well as painting and reading. I work as a tutor at my college as well as mentor.
How has Beating Eating Disorders helped you?
It has provided me with motivation but as the reminder that 1. Full recovery is possible. 2. Recovery is not a linear processes, and that’s okay. 3. It just really speaks to me and resonates with the deepest parts of me and that has made me feel less alone.
Where are you in your recovery journey? Share some of your recovery insight.
I am at a point where I am very aware of the difference between my ED voice and my true self. The ED voices are less present as well as the behaviors, currently specifically BED. There are still triggers that increase my ED urges and behaviors but now I’m much more gentle with myself when that happens. Even with a relapse I am able to look for what I still need to learn in order to love forward in recovery.
I’ve been struggling for about 8 years now and only been getting help from a specialized eating disorder program for about 8 months now. I’ve learned the power of sharing my story and I actively work to help the women in my life realize their true power and that our body’s do not define us. We are so much more.
I’ve learned to be my own best friend especially in times of relapse or deep pain and that has been one of the most incredible shifts in my mindset and progress.
What are your future recovery orientated goals?
Currently my goals are set around my relationships with others as that aspect of my life has remained a major trigger and struggle for me. I am working on mending my relationship with my family, as well as developing friendships and partnerships that help me grow and allow me to show up as my full authentic self. Owning who I am is a major goal of mine.
What is the most helpful thing someone has said to you? What has been the most harmful?
The most helpful was that full recovery is possible. For so long I thought it was something to learn to cope with but will forever be around. It gave me hope to always continue on my journey no matter the pain or struggle. The most harmful was when I told someone about my ED and they said it didn’t really sound like a probably, completeky invalidating my struggles and inner pain. It made me feel like I wasn’t sick enough.
Is there anything else you would like to add that you want people to know? Any advice to give to fellow sufferers?
Everyone, just by being here, is deserving of love and compassion and kindness; from others but also from themselves. The idea that you’ll be happy or things will get better once you loss weight or change your apprentice, will have you forever searching for happiness and love for your life. You must look inward and accept yourself just as you are, because you are worth it.